यादें

लिखने आज बैठें है।
बहुत सालों के बाद।।
कलम तोह उठा ली।
पर क्या लिखें कुछ पता नही।।

बीत जो इतने बरस गए।
बातें सब मन में दबीं हुईं।।
अब क्या इनको दोहराऊं उनको?
अब क्यों उनको फिर याद करूँ?

एक बार देखा उन्न किताबों को।
सीशे की अलमारी के परे जो लेटी थीं।।
मेरी हर याद का बोझ लिए।
कितने आराम से सोईं हुईं थीं।।

फिर नज़र घुमाई
उस सामने रखी कोरी किताब पर
ताज़े पन्नो की झुशबू
अब क्यों डरता है मन
क्यों है इतना संकोच
इन् यादों को अब
याद करने से क्यों
हाथ जैसे कांप उठते हैं

शायद उम्र हो चली है अब
या यादें कुछ भारी

The Capgemini Journey - An Analogy

I just finished my small stint in Capgemini, and it goes without saying that I would write down something about this journey. Since I do not want to be very vivid about it, an in-detail write-up was out of question. What then came to my mind was the similarities between this journey and a whodunnit  novel. So I thought of trying this out.

Here goes.

Chapter 1, you know what the basic premise is and the setting. You can see who all are going to be the main characters and the side characters. It was going all fine, nothing great. Couple of chapters in, the setting changes completely! Few of the main characters left behind. Things get interesting due to this but the basic premise is still the same. Few new characters are introduced. You don't buy much into them. But soon it seems like they are the main characters and the ones left behind were all side characters. With this new side stories develop, new rivalries and a whole lot of politics. This keeps the reader interested up to some point. Murders are being committed at regular intervals to keep the pace going, but these were very predictable in their setting so you know whats coming on next.

Few more chapters down and then there's a sudden change of the settings! Again, interesting for the reader. All the old characters are back, the new one's on the other hand are gone. You can see things are about to reach the climax, and a big reveal. What you did not see, is that, after a few more chapters, all the characters, old and new are thrown into the mix together. Its pandemonium! Couple of characters vanish into thin air, just like that. And you wonder what happened to their story-line.

You can now feel there is sudden pace to the plot as it nears the climax. You can almost see the murderer since you've guessed right at the start. Though you see the end is near you're not excited, since it all seems too predictable. You keep on reading because you have to. Cannot leave a novel midway can we now! But there is hardly any interest left.

And then it comes, the "Finale", the last chapter. You turn through the pages, with an animated expression. More than anything its an expression of thrill. Things aren't ending the way you thought! The killer seems to be a completely different person! The story takes turns after turns, the plot twists like you did not imagine! Baam! The End! You close the book with a pleasant smile.

The book, you feel, was a bittersweet experience, it contained both, long, mundane; hard to read through chapters as well as short, fast paced; eventful chapters. It contained characters that were shoddily put into the story which did not feel right, but also characters that were consistent throughout with a good development and fitting. Finally as you put the book on the shelf, you wonder if you would read another book with the same characters, but in a different setting? The smile on your face is the answer.

God Theory - Introduction

Note - At the very onset of this I would like to say this piece of work isn't intended to hurt anyone but just a collection of my thoughts on this subject.

I believe many people give this a thought at some point in their lives, "What is God?"

Well,I had the same question in my mind and following is what I came down to.

So, it started with doubts over the current system of God. Being someone who has had a scientific outlook in life and also who looks at things with a practical approach; I could never really get how if there exists a God, and it created us and then gave us so many troubles and pains to go through in this life, just to 'test' us. Then again, if we were 'given the gift' of free thinking, which is enjoyed by no other animal, why would it be that God chained us with morals, values, karma, hell, heaven, etc? Biggest of all, why only us? Why weren't aliens an everyday sight? Why did God made only 1 earth? All this made very little sense to me.

As I got into teenage, I started negating in my head any theory that said God exists and most of the religions around me. It included lengthy debates with my granny and Mom. This view, I upheld for quite a many years, when I realised I was being as intolerant and ignorant as normal religious people are, just that I was the other side of this coin. Realising this was a major breakthrough in my quest to find the answers I was seeking. Instead of simply negating it, I started to look at various explanations which could satiate me.

I thought over many theories. None was enough. Until very recently, I was going through a youtube video for self-help. The video in itself wasn't too great, but a point that the speaker made struck me. He said the human brain is the single most powerful object in this universe. It has power to create its own reality. Well, we all might have heard this before, so what struck me? It was the realization that a plausible answer was right next to me all the time.

And by next to me I mean quite figuratively. Right next to my bed in the drawer is a copy of Rhonda Bryne's "The Secret", it basically tells you about the power the power of mind and thought. The Law of Attraction, you shall attract whatever you think of. That's how the universe is made up. To resonate on the same frequency as the individual. You think positive you feel positive and then you attract positive. So one basically can get what they want by starting with the right thoughts, actions without the right thought won't get you you're desired results. Isn't that a bit similar to creating your own reality for yourself? And isn't that what we usually say to a pessimistic person, to think positive and everything will turn out to be fine. Faith can move mountains right? Wel is it faith or is it your mind that moves it?

Next, we have these sadhus who do siddhi. Which basically means they develop these special mantras or words which can be used by them which have specific effects on things and people around them. These are obtained by years and years of penance. If, and I stress on the if, at all these claims are true, it wouldn't be too dissimilar to creating your own reality. You focus all your mind and energy into a specific word and the effect it would have on something. Doing it for years might then makes that word an entity of the universe, created by that individual, and which acts the way it was designed. Difficult to fathom? Yes? Well it's just a theory after all. And that too at a very nascent one. Just an outline of my thoughts. It needs a lot of refinement and deep study.

Let's get to God now. Gods, I was told by my granny when I was a toddler, required prayer and offerings by the devotees to sustain themselves and in return they provide us with safety, comfort, bounties and miracles. This is a hindu belief but fits quite well in my theory. By now, I suppose you must've understood where I'm going with this. God I believe, started as an imaginary entity. I say started because I still think God is made by man. How? For thousands of years, people have focused their thoughts and energies into a being. A being they believed to have created them and is looking after them. A continuous and steady stream of frequency heading into the universe. What does the universe do then? According to our previous examples, it creates a reality to fit this frequency. An entity created out of the thoughts of countless generations of humans. Therefore we can have a million gods; because in the end they all conform to that single entity created by the thought of man. And that entity survives through the continuous devotion/prayers/offerings of the devotee, or in short the "belief" of the devotee. God as an entity then would stop existing the moment we stop believing.

This brings up numerous new questions. If this would be true, would this entity be as omniscient, omnipotent and omnipresent as we believe God to be? Would it be self aware of its existence and it's source of sustenance? Would it then be able to create scenarios in this world that would make more people believe in God thus fueling the entity's life source?

Seems like a script of some sci-fi movie isn't it? I felt so too initially when I was going through these thoughts. But then, when I take into account the larger picture, all the religions and all that is said about the power of mind and the working of the universe outside the realm of physics, this is the closest I've been to figuring out what God could be. I do take into account that I might be totally wrong and that I have to restart all over. But that's the beauty of it all. Ever learning and evolving. If you feel like do share with me your thoughts.

The Ecosystem of Information Technology

So I was thinking of writing this since some time, the inspiration, obviously, my own time in the industry plus the people I have met in these 4.5yrs of my IT tenure. For the sake of ease, I shall try and divide the IT ecosystem into different classes and define the characteristics of fauna that inhabit it. Though if you are not from the IT background, I must inform you, that IT world does not come with as much diversity as the natural ecosystem and the following is my take on it and nothing else. Anyway, lets start with it -

1. The Clueless Cules
The biggest and the most populated class in the IT ecosystem is that of the clueless cules. This by no means is related to the FC Barcelona fans apart from the nomenclature. For the general populace, Cule in Catalan means Ass. The people belonging to this class, as the name suggests, are completely clueless as to what they are doing in this industry. Usually comprising of freshers, who enter this world due to peer or parental pressure. Sometimes they enter in by sheer accident. Like people who end up in IT after mechanical, electrical or even civil engineering. After plying their trade for a few years, people in this class retire to some other career options. But the populace remains ever increasing as they are replaced by a new batch of clueless youngsters pushed into an unknown.

2. The Deadpans
The second biggest class. These are the people who do not hate the IT industry but do not love it either. They have spent anywhere between 5 to 7yrs in the industry, and they keep on doing the job because it pays. You will find them with a straight face working and laughing sometimes at that one off odd joke. Their usual life is to make sure that they finish their task and go home on time.

3. The Fiends
This is a sub class of the deadpans. People in this class are basically deadpans with a sense of sadism. Found in every project, these people have only one job, and that is to make the life of their team a living hell. They throw around their diktats like dictators and make sure that their juniors drag themselves into depression.

4. The Managers
Well, this isnt too difficult to explain. But this class incorporates people from all experience levels. This class comprises of people who "manage" things. They don't necessarily do things themselves, but get things done by one way or another (by hook or by crook)

5. The Glory Hunters
This again, does not refer to Manchester United fans. This class is of the people who constantly try to steal the limelight of their peers or juniors. Always jumping in when the credits are awarded and steal it away from its rightful owner. Arguably the most hated class in all of the IT ecosystem.

6. The Innocent Flock
If the fiends and the glory hunters are the predators, these little people here are the prey. If not for this lot, the previous two wouldn't thrive. This class in itself is quite big, almost equal to the deadpans if I may say. It includes people -

• Who are too ignorant to understand they are being used quite cleverly by their peers to get their work done. 
• Who are too casual to give a shit even if they understand what's going around
• Who by the virtue of their nature are simply too nice to say no to anyone or do not understand when to say no

7. The Underachievers
This a relatively small class of high energy, self motivated people who are never given enough credit for the amount of work they do. These people work their ass off. Working over 10 to 12hrs, with hope of getting recognized at various forums in the office, though they hardly ever succeed. This is either due to their personalities or by sheer bad luck. And the "Managers" know how to make them work. They crave recognition, which turns into their biggest disadvantage.

8. The Despondent's
The outcome of the above two classes are the despondent's. These are the people who at a point of time were filled with enthusiasm and energy, but by the design of fate, never could achieve what they could. And thus, are left with a perpetual feeling of gloom

9. The Counterproductive's
This class too comprises of people from range of experiences. Their main aim is to disrupt the normal flow of the team. They hardly know anything but constantly try show off. Can be a fresher or a manager.

10. The Impasse
By far the saddest class according to me. This class comprise of people who are too deep into IT to let go, as they do not have any other skill to rely on, and the IT skills they posses aren't good enough to take them to the next level. They are stuck in like a particle in event horizon, from which it can neither escape nor dive into the black hole.

11. The Leaders
The last class that I'd like to put out. But as the name suggest this  doesn't necessarily consists of Team Leads,etc but of people who lead others. This can be either in personal lives of their peers or in the professional lives. If not for few and far of such kind, the IT world would be full of only the clueless cules. Apart from leading others, these people forge a way for themselves in this harsh world full of people ready to pounce at toy at any opportunity they get. People from all the above classes strive to be part of this class, some with their constant and conscious efforts do make the cut while others are generally left with a sour taste.

Well, there you have it. This is just what I think and have seen. Someone else's view on this world might differ completely. Also I have seen people in all of the above classes making up the ladder, at their own pace. This is not meant to put down anyone, its just me rambling to myself about the industry I am a part of.

Path

A long walk
Full of troubles
You walk nonetheless
What choice do you have
What choice does anyone have
This journey has to be completed
By you, by me and everyone else
What is at the end we already know
Yet we long for a different end
The prize is the journey itself
Lest we forget
Meeting people, building experiences
That's the whole point in't it
The path is illuminated by them
And not by anything else
Yes you may tread away
Into the darkness
Walking a dangerous path
For quite a long time
How do you trace back?
Your people hold the light
For you to see
When you realise you have gone astray
Look for it, the light they hold
For your people will never abandon you
Trust the light and walk back
Hold on to them and make it right
The end isn't any fun to reach
If you haven't enjoyed the starry night
With a bunch of guys that you
Can call your own
Who make you feel at home
Even at the harshest of times!

WHY..??

For most of my life so far, I believe I've been living in a cage - in an ideal world. The real world is something else. It is not something where everything is perfect and everyone is happy and virtuous. In fact, it is anything but perfect. Me and most people that I know have had this privilege- of avoiding reality. A world where you are safe amidst your friends and family. We've always known that if we mess up, we have our parents to bail us out. If it's something you don't want to tell your parents, well, you've got your friends to turn to. But in the end, you are never accountable to yourself. There's always an excuse. And I've lived in that blissful existence for so many years. Even in school or college, you know that whatever you are learning is not going to work in industry or in life. The real world is going to be different. And that somehow leads to a kind of complacency, a detachment from what you are doing. As if it's not important, as if its not the real deal. And then, you become too smart for your own good. Suddenly, I start seeing things as they really are. How people really are (I don't mean it as a negative connotation) and how the world really is. And considering myself to be a intelligent human being, I accept the reality. I understand what I need to do and indeed to an extent I know what I want to do. The bubble has burst. I realize that every person has some responsibilities- personal and professional. And, you need to fulfill these irrespective of the fact that you hate going through most of them. After I understood that one fact, I assumed that I am done. So, its ok, I've been shielded from the world by the good civilized society so that I enter reality when I am strong enough and good enough to do well in it. One phase of life is over, and a new one begins. Now, I am expected to stand on my own feet - solve my own problems and in fact, help other people solve theirs. I realize that sometimes I'll make mistakes and so will others but I'll just have to live with that, there's nothing I can do about it. So, now my question is simply this, "Why am I afraid to just snap out of the ideal world and enter the real one?" Why can't I simply change my habits and outlook? Why can't I just accept that I am never going back to the idealism again? Why does a part of me want to go back to that carefree childhood? Why the hell would I prefer ignorance over knowledge?