Ok, so it's not what you’re thinking. The topic of this write up is something which was bugging me for quite some time now. Ever since high school, I've seen people suffer from this, always confused about what’s happening..not around them, but, on the inside.
Which i could observe even now! Always confused about what they want (need). Many a times I've seen them fighting their own selves as they aren't sure on whether they should do X or Y, or for that matter choose A or B. Not only about choices and decisions, they suffer from this huge problem of whether to reveal what they truly feel or not!
You know when you like someone..! But I've seen them fight their feelings as some are afraid of commitments, some of their parents, society, etc and some fear that they would be left vulnerable if they do fall in love and some simply are too proud to admit it or they feel that they should be "independent" so they refuse to acknowledge what they truly are feeling..!
Then there comes the part when they both are friends, both like each other but will never express it to them! The girl in this waits for the guy to approach (since our mentality is if the girl approaches she is too "desperate" or whatever! *sigh..) And the guy thinks that it may ruin even the friendship they have (which is not exactly a friendship at this point). And all these things make them either arrogant, clumsy or they are always pissed off on something or the other!
And it's not necessarily about liking, even hate; people conceal it and pretend to be friends bitching about behind the backs. It's been over 6 yrs now that I've witnessed this sort of human behaviour and it always amuses me as I've always believed that if only one could express what he truly feels can one attain happiness. How can we be happy when we have so much to hide inside of us? This makes we wonder that everyone around me is just an actor, performing a well rehearsed play! A normal person has done well in having a mask on his face all the time to hide his/her true feelings and emotions.
Well, it seems like this behaviour of hiding up gives them a heroic martyr kind of feel that they are suffering so much pain, anguish, rejection, etc. alone without having help from anyone. Which for one i feel is a sign of mental disorder? Also there are those who are just plain introvert and cannot express their thoughts, feelings, emotions even if they want, and all i can say is god help those poor souls.
Lastly the ones who won’t budge no matter how much u ask them, since your a friend you'l ask them what the problem is but these people feel telling other won’t help their cause and keep everything to them and suffer serious depression!
All in all the only solution for all these people is to open up their hearts and admit what they truly feel! As only then will they be able to have peace of mind rather than being confused, pissed off, etc. Maybe one day I might see a world where people don’t wear no masks
and their true beautiful self comes out! But well...that’s a wish I don't know will come true or not!
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